Two sisters both want the last orange in the house. They argue. So they do the fair thing and cut it down the middle.
The first sister eats her half and throws away the peel. The second throws away the fruit, grates the peel and bakes a cake with it.
Each got half of what she needed. Each could have had all of it.
Nobody asked why.
What’s going on
“I want the orange” is a position: what someone says they want. “I need the peel for a cake” is an interest: the reason behind it. Positions often clash. Interests often don’t.
Roger Fisher and William Ury built their 1981 book Getting to Yes around this, and tell the sisters’ story as an old fable. Their rule: focus on interests, not positions.
Why Flipkart took cash
When Flipkart started in 2007, it sold books online and took payment upfront. Many Indians simply didn’t buy.
It sounded like a position: I don’t shop online. The interest underneath was different: I don’t want to pay before I see what I’m getting. Plenty didn’t even own a card.
Around 2010, Flipkart started letting people pay in cash at the door. Within two months, cash on delivery was about 30% of its sales. Flipkart didn’t argue with the position. It answered the interest.
Where you’ll spot it
- Renting a flat. The landlord wants ₹2,000 more than you can pay. Ask why, and you may learn he mostly wants a tenant who pays on time and stays for years. A two-year lease might matter more to him than the extra rent.
- Small suppliers. A supplier pushes for a higher price. Often he just needs to be paid in 15 days instead of 60. For a big buyer, paying sooner costs far less than paying more.
The catch
Sometimes both sides want the very same thing. Two families who need the same flat can’t both have it, however many questions anyone asks. Then it’s back to bargaining.
Asking why won’t end every fight. It stops you fighting about the wrong thing.
How to use it
- Ask “why?” before “how much?” Why this number, why this date? Ask out of curiosity, not as a challenge.
- Share your own reason. Nobody can help with an interest you’ve kept hidden.
- Look for what’s cheap for you and valuable to them. A longer lease, faster payment, cash at the door.
Before you split the orange, ask what each of you wants it for.
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